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I have several random thoughts running through my head. They've been circling for a few days now and i thought maybe i could stop my racing mind by getting them out on my blog. Life takes us many places. Its a journey that starts with birth and ends at death.

But does this journey really end? What happens when we die. There are so many beliefs out there about an afterlife or something other than this life. There is heaven, hell, purgatory. There is the underworld, netherworld, outerworld. But really. Where are we going? Is there an immortal soul that lives in every one of us. Or are we just temporary things living in a temporary world? What about reincarnation? Are we born again into something or someone else?

What the big questions here are: What is the Meaning of Life? What Happens when our Life Ends?

Growing up i was taught that only so many people go to heaven. These are the chosen Anointed who rule in heaven with Jesus as kings and queens for a short while. Someday soon the final war will come upon us. Armageddon. Nation against Nation. People against People. All organized religion will be broken down and the world will be under military rule. After the war has desecrated the planet, there will be a judgement. The sae of the dead will be ressurrected and judged according to their deeds done on earth. Wether they be good or bad. There is no afterlife aparently. When you die, you are dead. Your body rots in the ground and you as a person cease to exist.

Now. When i think about that. I get scared. I dont want to die. I dont want to not exist.

If anything, who wouldnt want to live forever. Timeless. No death or sickness or anything.

I was taught that after the final battle and the judgements. We were all to live in a paradise on earth. It would be our own heaven as there would be no death, no sickness, no hatred. It seems almost too good to be true. Looking at it from the standpoint of our current situation. We may live good lives where we are now, but there are people out there suffering. Every 6 seconds someone dies. When will that 6th second be you? Or me? Or someone you love?

I dont know what to believe anymore. I try not to worry about it and live life to its fullest. But sometimes it creeps up on me like an unexpected visitor. Everything has its own time to die doesnt it? Well. As young and healthy as i am. I fear my time. I dont know what to believe in anymore.

Ugh. I'm sure I'll feel better later. Just right now. The fear grips me and wont let me go.